4th September, 2014

Well, OTD was yesterday! I went to the clinic, nervous but excited, surely 14 home pregnancy tests can’t be wrong! I am friends with one of the nurses at the clinic, we trained as nurses together, so I had been chatting to her all before and during the IVF, and during the 2WW. I’d told her that I’d done the tests, and she was cautiously optimistic about it! So, we get called through by a different nurse, who passes comment that she doesn’t need to test my urine, as I’d already done so many tests, she then started telling me off, like I was a school child, I actually felt a bit humiliated. This was the day that I’d been aiming for, to become officially pregnant. I didn’t expect fanfares etc, but she was actually quite rude. Barely smiled, and barely mumbled a congratulations as we walked out the door. We were in and out in a minute. No advice on early pregnancy, no advice on taking vitamins etc, just that they’d see me in 3 weeks for a scan. That was it. I know this is their job, but for me and The Husband, and for many many couples, to have a baby is such a burning desire, this moment is what we aim for, to see those 2 pink lines, or the word ‘pregnant’ without a ‘not’ in front of it.

I am so happy, I am pregnant. The next 36 weeks aren’t going to be easy, I’m at high risk of miscarriage, but for the time being, I’m pregnant and I am going to have a baby in May! Scan on 23rd September, make sure it is in the right place, and see if there is a heartbeat – and see how many there are, I have a 25% chance of twins, eeekkk!

30th August, 2014

The 2WW. The dreaded 2WW. It is hard. It’s the longest 2 weeks in the history of mankind. I’ve had a few days where I’ve felt really low, and teary. A couple of days where I’ve cried lots. This is hard. I thought that my friends would rally round, but actually it’s the kindness of people that I don’t really know that has got me through the last few days. Not really got much else to write. Official Test Day is Wednesday 3rd September, so not long now ;)

20th August, 2014

So, here it is, the big day has arrived! I went to acupuncture this morning, for the pre-transfer treatment. I have really loved going to acupuncture, and even if there is no science in it, it really has made me feel good. Apart from this time! Now, I don’t know if you’ve been through IVF, but when it comes to embryo transfer they like a ‘comfortably full’ bladder. So, I woke up, had a wee, had a drink. And another drink. All good. Until you’re lying on a table, with needles sticking out of you, desperately needing to wee. I couldn’t zone out like I normally do, and I had to ask my lovely acupuncturist lady to un-needle me, as I was going to wee on the table. The relief was immense. We headed to the hospital straight after, my appointment was for 10 am, it was now 9.30am. I was conscious that I had just emptied my bladder, so I drank lots. Got to the hospital and I was shown through.  We were waiting to see the embryologist, to see how our 3 embryos were doing. I could feel my bladder getting fuller and fuller. I told the nurse that I was desperate and she allowed me to go again, and once again the relief was fabulous! So, the embryologist came along, one of our embryos had not developed passed fertilisation, one of them (who we have named Franky 5 cells) developed from one cell to two cells, to five cells then back to four cells – this was apparently, unusual. Our third embryo was perfect. So, we agreed to have our perfect embryo placed back in – we did push for 2, but they said because this embryo is perfect, that they can’t put 2 back.

 

So, my bladder is filling up again, and it’s finally my turn to go through. I manged to get on the table without weeing everywhere, and the doctor scans me and exclaims that ‘your bladder is beautifully full!’ and I nearly replied ‘yes, I know, you’re pressing very hard on it!’ So there I am, legs in stirrups, with my foof out for the whole world to see, with the worlds biggest spotlight on it, like it’s just about to sing to fully packed Albert Hall. They did the dummy catheter run, they had Aretha Franklin’s ‘You make me feel like a Natural woman’ playing….. There was nothing natural about this! Then transfer time, and they played Ultravox’s Vienna ‘This means nothing to me……..!’. Other songs included Lisa Stansfields ‘Been around the world and I can’t find my baby’ and Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean ‘…the kid is not my son’. Really? REALLY?

 

Anyway! We have one perfect embryo on board. OTD is 3rd September, however I generally have about a 12 day luteal phase, so I think we’ll know before then. I have started taking the progesterone suppositories, so I don’t know if they will make a difference or not, hopefully they will do their job though.

 

Fingers crossed!

19th August, 2014.

So, I had the call from the embryologist this morning. 3 of the eggs fertilised, and they want us in for transfer tomorrow morning. So, as I type, I have 3 potential babies, sitting in a laboratory. Very surreal. I’m really, really hoping that they will allow 2 to be transferred tomorrow, will keep you posted…..

18th August, 2014.

So, I had my egg collection today – they only collected 5 eggs, I am gutted. The Husband’s sample was good enough for IVF, so ICSI not needed, which I’m actually disappointed about. At least with ICSI we know that an individual sperm is injected into each egg, with IVF it all depends on how the lazy, malformed fishes are feeling.

I am sore, and in such a bad mood this evening. The Husband seems oblivious, his idea of looking after me is making me a sandwich when we got home, and telling me he loves me. He hasn’t even got me a drink – he knows it’s painful for me to walk around, and in all honesty, I just want a little TLC and to wallow in my own self pity – that’s not too much to ask for, is it?

So, a sleepless night I suspect, waiting on the phonecall tomorrow to see how many embryos we have. We are facing a 2 day transfer, and we will hopefully (if the numbers are there) transfer 2. I know the risks of multiple pregnancy, but I would rather deal with that, than not be pregnant.

Will keep you posted….

16th August, 2014

Lots has happened this week! I had my first progress scan on Tuesday, I had 14 follicles that looked promising, the clinic were happy with my progress. I had another low day that day though. I had my follow up appointment with my consultant, for my surgery. Once again I left feeling like they hadn’t answered my questions at all. I feel so frustrated with them. I’m so worried about the thyroid antibodies and the fact that they do not acknowledge them as a problem…..

So, I headed into my next progress scan yesterday morning, to be told I had just 4 follicles, with maybe one or two that could catch up. I was (still am) gutted. I feel like I have been through so much and my body has failed me yet again. I’ve been instructed to do my trigger shot, I’m just hoping that the other 2 will catch up….

I have just done my trigger shot. It’s going to be so strange not waking to do my buserelin injection tomorrow morning, I’ve had my alarm set for the last few weeks so that I don’t miss it.

Egg collection scheduled for 09.30 on Monday morning, I’m truly hoping that I have more eggs by then. I know it’s quality over quantity, I was just hoping for some that we could freeze!

Will keep you updated……..