19th August, 2014.

So, I had the call from the embryologist this morning. 3 of the eggs fertilised, and they want us in for transfer tomorrow morning. So, as I type, I have 3 potential babies, sitting in a laboratory. Very surreal. I’m really, really hoping that they will allow 2 to be transferred tomorrow, will keep you posted…..

18th August, 2014.

So, I had my egg collection today – they only collected 5 eggs, I am gutted. The Husband’s sample was good enough for IVF, so ICSI not needed, which I’m actually disappointed about. At least with ICSI we know that an individual sperm is injected into each egg, with IVF it all depends on how the lazy, malformed fishes are feeling.

I am sore, and in such a bad mood this evening. The Husband seems oblivious, his idea of looking after me is making me a sandwich when we got home, and telling me he loves me. He hasn’t even got me a drink – he knows it’s painful for me to walk around, and in all honesty, I just want a little TLC and to wallow in my own self pity – that’s not too much to ask for, is it?

So, a sleepless night I suspect, waiting on the phonecall tomorrow to see how many embryos we have. We are facing a 2 day transfer, and we will hopefully (if the numbers are there) transfer 2. I know the risks of multiple pregnancy, but I would rather deal with that, than not be pregnant.

Will keep you posted….

16th August, 2014

Lots has happened this week! I had my first progress scan on Tuesday, I had 14 follicles that looked promising, the clinic were happy with my progress. I had another low day that day though. I had my follow up appointment with my consultant, for my surgery. Once again I left feeling like they hadn’t answered my questions at all. I feel so frustrated with them. I’m so worried about the thyroid antibodies and the fact that they do not acknowledge them as a problem…..

So, I headed into my next progress scan yesterday morning, to be told I had just 4 follicles, with maybe one or two that could catch up. I was (still am) gutted. I feel like I have been through so much and my body has failed me yet again. I’ve been instructed to do my trigger shot, I’m just hoping that the other 2 will catch up….

I have just done my trigger shot. It’s going to be so strange not waking to do my buserelin injection tomorrow morning, I’ve had my alarm set for the last few weeks so that I don’t miss it.

Egg collection scheduled for 09.30 on Monday morning, I’m truly hoping that I have more eggs by then. I know it’s quality over quantity, I was just hoping for some that we could freeze!

Will keep you updated……..

7th August, 2014.

I’m sorry I’ve not updated for a little while, life has been busy!

I carried on taking the buserelin injections, which have become second nature to me now, they don’t phase me at all. I’ve had a few side effects, mostly hot flushes (my goodness, they take you by surprise!) and feeling very emotional. For example, we went to the NEXT sale, before we went in, I wanted something to eat, so we got some baked potatoes, I had cheese and beans, The Husband had chilli and cheese. I passed comment that mine didn’t have enough cheese on, so The Husband got a fork full of cheese from his and put it on mine, and I burst into tears – even now I’m tearing up just thinking about it! The Husband just looked at me and told me he loved me, which made me cry even more! The havoc that IVF plays on your hormones is crazy!

I started a new job whilst down regging, I have returned to nursing after training to be a midwife, there are no posts for midwives at the moment, so I’m biding my time. The return to work has been a fabulous distraction and has allowed me to focus on something different, which has been a Godsend, really.

I had my baseline scan on Monday, all went well, ovaries nice and dormant, uterine lining nice and thin, so I had the go ahead to start stims! Yay, now the fun begins! I’ve had 2 lots of menopur so far and today I can feel my ovaries tingling a little, so hopefully they are starting to do what they need to do. I’m on alternating doses of menopur, I’m sure they did that just to keep me on my toes! Mixing the menopur is a bit of a faff, I had to do it at work last night, on my break, in the public disabled loo – nice! I’ve got to find somewhere else in public to do it this evening too, so that should be fun!

I’m still having acupuncture, which I am loving – I always feel so positive afterwards, so even if it’s just a placebo effect, it’s helping me.

Next scan is on Tuesday, hopefully I’ll have lots of lovely looking follicles, fingers crossed!

15th July, 2014.

Day 3 of buserelin today, still not liking the injections, but at least I know what to expect now. I have, however, experienced my first real side effect….. After I went back to bed after my injection, I had the most vivid dreams. First of all I dreamt I was shoe shopping with an old school friend, who was really good friends with Victoria Beckham, who came along too. VB was looking for flat, black strappy sandals, instead she found a mid calf length white tutu type skirt, with pink/iridescent sequins all over it, the sort of thing you would find in a child’s dressing up box. Anyway, VB loved it, tried it on, and was parading around topless, looking for a top to go with it. David Beckham then walked in, telling VB that she shouldn’t be buying new things, as they were on an economy drive. He then went down to the staff room, and made himself a fry-up, with black pudding, claiming it was healthy….. The dream then changed to me being in one of the lifts at the hospital I work in, I wanted to go to the second floor, but the lift bypassed all the floors, spun around, and opened up on the roof, where we were told to sit on the edge, where we could watch the comedian John Bishop hosting an underwater dinner party. There were underwater helium balloons, which were lit up so they would glow. JB was wearing a big glass bowl on his head. My dream then changed to me walking up the road, and I saw a bloke who I had recently challenged about inciting religious hatred (in real life). He pointed at me, and asked me to speak to him he then proceeded to start attacking me, and beating me up! It was horrible! My dream then went back to my house, where one of my chickens was vomiting natural yoghurt, I rushed her into the kitchen, bathed her and nursed her back to health.

 

And, the Husband also felt my wrath! I was a total bitch to him, and he was lovely to me, but did tell me I was being a bitch, we made me giggle. I also shouted at some smart-ass in the street who was having a go at me for not indicating, even though it was blocked off in one of the directions, meaning I could only go one way….

So, there we have it, my first Buserelin side effects……!

 

 

 

14th July, 2014

Day 2 of Buserelin today. I had a bit more of a meltdown this morning, the thought of doing this for the next few weeks was overwhelming, but I manned up, and did it, on the other leg from yesterday. It felt a little easier, but certainly not something I am enjoying doing. I’ve been reading up on the side effects of Buserelin today, I think most women tend to feel really tired, sluggish, and maybe a bit less tolerant, with a shorter temper – oh my lucky, lucky husband!¬† I had more acupuncture today, and felt very odd for about a couple of hours afterwards, slightly vacant, very tearful, but ready for an almighty arguement! Thankfully The Husband was very lovely (we’re both on annual leave at the moment) and just pandered to me. I hope this isn’t going to be how I am, but I guess I will know as we go on.

13th July, 2014

So, one of the most exciting yet daunting journeys of my life started today! I am so excited that we might end up with a baby at the end of this, yet scared that it isn’t going to work. I had been really worrying about the injections – not the thought of pushing the needle through my skin, but the thought of flushing the liquid into my body. Set my alarm for 06.25, so that I would be prepared to inject at 06.30. I prepared my syringe with no problem (benefits of being a nurse and a midwife ;) ) then sat on the edge of the bed. I honestly thought I was going to vomit. I pushed the needle through my skin slowly, it wasn’t too bad, I liked the feeling of being able to control this myself. I very slowly began to plunge the buserelin into my subcutaneous fat. I was expecting it to sting, but I think I was pinching my fat so hard that I didn’t feel anything else! Felt so relieved when it was done, very tiny spot of blood after, but other than that, I couldn’t even tell where I had injected! Felt like a momentous step, like when you get a mortgage, proper grown up stuff. The Husband was lovely, touching my back as I did it. I said that some blokes like to do the injections, to feel more¬† apart of the process – he looked like I had pissed on his chips, there is no way he wants to do it! So, there we have it, I’ve finally started IVF…..