4th September, 2014

Well, OTD was yesterday! I went to the clinic, nervous but excited, surely 14 home pregnancy tests can’t be wrong! I am friends with one of the nurses at the clinic, we trained as nurses together, so I had been chatting to her all before and during the IVF, and during the 2WW. I’d told her that I’d done the tests, and she was cautiously optimistic about it! So, we get called through by a different nurse, who passes comment that she doesn’t need to test my urine, as I’d already done so many tests, she then started telling me off, like I was a school child, I actually felt a bit humiliated. This was the day that I’d been aiming for, to become officially pregnant. I didn’t expect fanfares etc, but she was actually quite rude. Barely smiled, and barely mumbled a congratulations as we walked out the door. We were in and out in a minute. No advice on early pregnancy, no advice on taking vitamins etc, just that they’d see me in 3 weeks for a scan. That was it. I know this is their job, but for me and The Husband, and for many many couples, to have a baby is such a burning desire, this moment is what we aim for, to see those 2 pink lines, or the word ‘pregnant’ without a ‘not’ in front of it.

I am so happy, I am pregnant. The next 36 weeks aren’t going to be easy, I’m at high risk of miscarriage, but for the time being, I’m pregnant and I am going to have a baby in May! Scan on 23rd September, make sure it is in the right place, and see if there is a heartbeat – and see how many there are, I have a 25% chance of twins, eeekkk!

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Tuesday 4th February 2014

So, in the interest of my career (I’m a nurse and student midwife, yes, the irony isn’t wasted on me!) I caught up with the 3rd series of Call The Midwife last night, so this post might be a bit of a spoiler if you haven’t seen the most recent episode. It’s addressing infertility, in particular, that which is similar to mine. I think we’re really fortunate that we live in an age and a society where we have access to amazing diagnostic and treatment facilities, I feel incredibly lucky to have had the treatment I’ve had, with the only issue being delayed clinics, regular appointment changes and sulky receptionists. The medical care I’ve had has been good, so far. I will be really interested to see how this storyline progresses, especially as this is the days pre-IVF. There is a part of me that hopes that the storyline shows the true devastation that infertility brings, unless you experience it, you will never know what it’s like. Waiting for that ever allusive BFP, to be told that it won’t happen naturally, is brutal. As I’ve said before, I always had hope that it might happen naturally…. I suspect the final episode in this series will end of with Shelagh (the ex-nun) getting her much wanted BFP, thank goodness for the BBC and it’s rose tinted spectacles. I don’t think people know about the endless cycles of fertility treatment that couples go through, I don’t think the media has done enough to show what it’s really like. It’s a painful process, and when people know that you have to have IVF, they’re reaction is as if it’s a surefire thing. Well it isn’t, far from it. It’s not guaranteed. At my clinic we get one funded cycle of IVF, NICE guidelines recommend 3 funded cycles. So, after my first cycle, we are looking at between £5000 and £6000 per cycle. I’d really appreciate it if you could sign this petition: Fairness in IVF availability on the NHS petition, it may not help me, but it will help others who will go through the same problems as me.