30th August, 2014

The 2WW. The dreaded 2WW. It is hard. It’s the longest 2 weeks in the history of mankind. I’ve had a few days where I’ve felt really low, and teary. A couple of days where I’ve cried lots. This is hard. I thought that my friends would rally round, but actually it’s the kindness of people that I don’t really know that has got me through the last few days. Not really got much else to write. Official Test Day is Wednesday 3rd September, so not long now 😉

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20th August, 2014

So, here it is, the big day has arrived! I went to acupuncture this morning, for the pre-transfer treatment. I have really loved going to acupuncture, and even if there is no science in it, it really has made me feel good. Apart from this time! Now, I don’t know if you’ve been through IVF, but when it comes to embryo transfer they like a ‘comfortably full’ bladder. So, I woke up, had a wee, had a drink. And another drink. All good. Until you’re lying on a table, with needles sticking out of you, desperately needing to wee. I couldn’t zone out like I normally do, and I had to ask my lovely acupuncturist lady to un-needle me, as I was going to wee on the table. The relief was immense. We headed to the hospital straight after, my appointment was for 10 am, it was now 9.30am. I was conscious that I had just emptied my bladder, so I drank lots. Got to the hospital and I was shown through.  We were waiting to see the embryologist, to see how our 3 embryos were doing. I could feel my bladder getting fuller and fuller. I told the nurse that I was desperate and she allowed me to go again, and once again the relief was fabulous! So, the embryologist came along, one of our embryos had not developed passed fertilisation, one of them (who we have named Franky 5 cells) developed from one cell to two cells, to five cells then back to four cells – this was apparently, unusual. Our third embryo was perfect. So, we agreed to have our perfect embryo placed back in – we did push for 2, but they said because this embryo is perfect, that they can’t put 2 back.

 

So, my bladder is filling up again, and it’s finally my turn to go through. I manged to get on the table without weeing everywhere, and the doctor scans me and exclaims that ‘your bladder is beautifully full!’ and I nearly replied ‘yes, I know, you’re pressing very hard on it!’ So there I am, legs in stirrups, with my foof out for the whole world to see, with the worlds biggest spotlight on it, like it’s just about to sing to fully packed Albert Hall. They did the dummy catheter run, they had Aretha Franklin’s ‘You make me feel like a Natural woman’ playing….. There was nothing natural about this! Then transfer time, and they played Ultravox’s Vienna ‘This means nothing to me……..!’. Other songs included Lisa Stansfields ‘Been around the world and I can’t find my baby’ and Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean ‘…the kid is not my son’. Really? REALLY?

 

Anyway! We have one perfect embryo on board. OTD is 3rd September, however I generally have about a 12 day luteal phase, so I think we’ll know before then. I have started taking the progesterone suppositories, so I don’t know if they will make a difference or not, hopefully they will do their job though.

 

Fingers crossed!

19th August, 2014.

So, I had the call from the embryologist this morning. 3 of the eggs fertilised, and they want us in for transfer tomorrow morning. So, as I type, I have 3 potential babies, sitting in a laboratory. Very surreal. I’m really, really hoping that they will allow 2 to be transferred tomorrow, will keep you posted…..

18th August, 2014.

So, I had my egg collection today – they only collected 5 eggs, I am gutted. The Husband’s sample was good enough for IVF, so ICSI not needed, which I’m actually disappointed about. At least with ICSI we know that an individual sperm is injected into each egg, with IVF it all depends on how the lazy, malformed fishes are feeling.

I am sore, and in such a bad mood this evening. The Husband seems oblivious, his idea of looking after me is making me a sandwich when we got home, and telling me he loves me. He hasn’t even got me a drink – he knows it’s painful for me to walk around, and in all honesty, I just want a little TLC and to wallow in my own self pity – that’s not too much to ask for, is it?

So, a sleepless night I suspect, waiting on the phonecall tomorrow to see how many embryos we have. We are facing a 2 day transfer, and we will hopefully (if the numbers are there) transfer 2. I know the risks of multiple pregnancy, but I would rather deal with that, than not be pregnant.

Will keep you posted….

16th August, 2014

Lots has happened this week! I had my first progress scan on Tuesday, I had 14 follicles that looked promising, the clinic were happy with my progress. I had another low day that day though. I had my follow up appointment with my consultant, for my surgery. Once again I left feeling like they hadn’t answered my questions at all. I feel so frustrated with them. I’m so worried about the thyroid antibodies and the fact that they do not acknowledge them as a problem…..

So, I headed into my next progress scan yesterday morning, to be told I had just 4 follicles, with maybe one or two that could catch up. I was (still am) gutted. I feel like I have been through so much and my body has failed me yet again. I’ve been instructed to do my trigger shot, I’m just hoping that the other 2 will catch up….

I have just done my trigger shot. It’s going to be so strange not waking to do my buserelin injection tomorrow morning, I’ve had my alarm set for the last few weeks so that I don’t miss it.

Egg collection scheduled for 09.30 on Monday morning, I’m truly hoping that I have more eggs by then. I know it’s quality over quantity, I was just hoping for some that we could freeze!

Will keep you updated……..

7th August, 2014.

I’m sorry I’ve not updated for a little while, life has been busy!

I carried on taking the buserelin injections, which have become second nature to me now, they don’t phase me at all. I’ve had a few side effects, mostly hot flushes (my goodness, they take you by surprise!) and feeling very emotional. For example, we went to the NEXT sale, before we went in, I wanted something to eat, so we got some baked potatoes, I had cheese and beans, The Husband had chilli and cheese. I passed comment that mine didn’t have enough cheese on, so The Husband got a fork full of cheese from his and put it on mine, and I burst into tears – even now I’m tearing up just thinking about it! The Husband just looked at me and told me he loved me, which made me cry even more! The havoc that IVF plays on your hormones is crazy!

I started a new job whilst down regging, I have returned to nursing after training to be a midwife, there are no posts for midwives at the moment, so I’m biding my time. The return to work has been a fabulous distraction and has allowed me to focus on something different, which has been a Godsend, really.

I had my baseline scan on Monday, all went well, ovaries nice and dormant, uterine lining nice and thin, so I had the go ahead to start stims! Yay, now the fun begins! I’ve had 2 lots of menopur so far and today I can feel my ovaries tingling a little, so hopefully they are starting to do what they need to do. I’m on alternating doses of menopur, I’m sure they did that just to keep me on my toes! Mixing the menopur is a bit of a faff, I had to do it at work last night, on my break, in the public disabled loo – nice! I’ve got to find somewhere else in public to do it this evening too, so that should be fun!

I’m still having acupuncture, which I am loving – I always feel so positive afterwards, so even if it’s just a placebo effect, it’s helping me.

Next scan is on Tuesday, hopefully I’ll have lots of lovely looking follicles, fingers crossed!